The advantage of distance
Dec. 16th, 2009 09:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seabird78Last night I had a dream about something that used to be a great source of anxiety. That something is no longer a part of my daily existence, and hasn't been on my mind for quite a while.
I don't need to get into the specifics of what this something is, because that's not important.
What IS important, however, at least to me, is how I reacted upon waking.
I lay there, replaying the last few moments of the dream, and I remembered what it felt like when the scene I experienced was something I could expect to encounter during my conscious moments. I shuddered briefly at the thought, but then was quickly overcome with an overwhelming sense of joy, because it occurred to me that no matter what happens next, no matter where I end up, I know with absolute certainty that I will never, ever EVVVVVVVER have to worry about that situation resurfacing in my life again. And it's all because of steps I've taken. Because of things I've accomplished.
Today I can look back on that former source of grief and twitchy eyes, and say, "Ha ha, you can't touch me anymore!"
I can't even begin to express how happy this makes me. I was giddy about it for the first half of my day!
I don't need to get into the specifics of what this something is, because that's not important.
What IS important, however, at least to me, is how I reacted upon waking.
I lay there, replaying the last few moments of the dream, and I remembered what it felt like when the scene I experienced was something I could expect to encounter during my conscious moments. I shuddered briefly at the thought, but then was quickly overcome with an overwhelming sense of joy, because it occurred to me that no matter what happens next, no matter where I end up, I know with absolute certainty that I will never, ever EVVVVVVVER have to worry about that situation resurfacing in my life again. And it's all because of steps I've taken. Because of things I've accomplished.
Today I can look back on that former source of grief and twitchy eyes, and say, "Ha ha, you can't touch me anymore!"
I can't even begin to express how happy this makes me. I was giddy about it for the first half of my day!
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Date: 2009-12-17 04:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 02:51 pm (UTC)I've managed to pop onto my journal again after what seems like an eternity! So Merry Xmas to you in case i dont get back on again! XXX
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Date: 2009-12-17 03:19 pm (UTC)Merry Xmas to you as well! Or maybe I should say, Happy Xmas! I prefer that greeting anyway. :)
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Date: 2009-12-18 12:45 am (UTC)Well Merry-ness leads to Happy-ness, right? I always associate Merry with getting drunk at Xmas *hic*