What I'm thinking lately

I'm sad that summer is just about over. Don't get me wrong, I love me some fall, but I feel like I let time get away from me throughout the month of August, with the end result being I didn't get as much writing done as I would have liked. But that's nothing new, right? Life is a constant battle between me, time, the things I want to do, the things I have to do to maintain my existence, and the things other people want or expect from me. That's not gonna change any time soon, so the only way to accomplish the things I want to do is to bump them up a notch or two higher on my priority list. I'm getting a little better about that, but I still need to find a way to make myself more accountable when it comes to creative aspirations. I need to convince myself that the struggle to finish this novel is worth it, and that people will want to read what I have to say.

Related to that, I've been toying with the idea of starting a wrestling blog. The problem is, I don't want it to be yet another source of WWE and/or TNA recaps, critiques, and predictions. That sort of blog is done to death. Which begs the question, how would I approach my subject? One thing I keep coming back to is the way so many people are surprised when they learn I like wrestling. I think that's partially because I'm a woman, partially because a lot of folks still carry the assumption that it's a form of entertainment only suited for those who are uneducated and "low-class," and partially because I come across as too mild-mannered and nice to get into something so aggressive and violent. So maybe the key to this blog is me exploring the question that I get so often? Why Wrestling? And each entry could be an essay focusing on one particular moment or memory or character that I found meaningful? I dunno, that doesn't sound quite right, but I'm gonna keep thinking and eventually I'll figure it out.

I am in need of a new phone, and I am being INCREDIBLY indecisive about which one I want to get. My current phone still works, so there's not a huge rush, but it is starting to show signs of wear and tear. I know I would do just fine with something similar to what I have now, but since I primarily use my phone for texting, I keep thinking it would be nice to have something with a full keyboard. And if I'm gonna go that route, I think I'd do a Blackberry, but that would require the extra expense of a data plan and though it wouldn't break my bank, I don't know if I want my phone bill any higher than it already is. I have also been encouraged to try an iPhone, which would serve me well because it would provide me with a new iPod, but then I'm locked in to having AT&T service indefinitely, and also I'm not sure I'd like the functionality of a touch screen. I kind of like having buttons to press, you know? I've been to the AT&T store several times and I've handled the floor models of both devices as well as the cheaper, lower-end phones and I still don't know what I want!!!! Graaaaa!!!! I realize that in the grand scheme of things this is not a huge problem, but I hate not being able to determine what will best suit my needs.

I still feel like I'm on the brink of some huge life change. The universe keeps teasing it by bringing big news to the people around me. That's happened twice since May. But I've yet to experience any revelations of my own. And honestly, I'm getting a little antsy, especially since I've put forth the effort to affect change in a couple of areas, with no immediate result. Nothing I can do about it except to keep working on creating new paths, I guess, and trust that something wonderful and positive has to come my way soon.

I like Behind the Music. I watched an episode this evening about Fantasia from American Idol. She's not a musician I would normally listen to, but I enjoyed learning about her life. What can I say? I'm a sucker for stories of people who find ways to triumph over adversity.

I've had one of those weekends where I've done both nothing and everything. I went to a reading/fundraiser on Friday night, got up early Saturday morning to watch my friend/co-worker's performance at Second City (he's been taking improv classes there, and the show served as his graduation) did some grocery shopping, took myself to see The Expendables, and spent the rest of Saturday and most of Sunday reading, cleaning, or catching up on WWE. Reading that back, I guess I managed to keep pretty busy, but because I didn't leave the house much and because I've been unable to bring myself to open the Word document of my novel manuscript I'm beating myself up about being a failure. In my defense, I did scribble some notes on the printed pages of Chapter Nine that will allow me to make the first half of that chapter presentable.

Alright, I think I'm done here. I didn't expect to get so navel-gazey when I started this entry.