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An exercise of confidence
Oct. 9th, 2010 11:42 amYesterday there was a line in my Astrocenter horoscope that read as follows:
Your current astral skies force you to undertake one of the hardest exercises of confidence there is.
Logic would dictate that this is a reference to last Sunday's Lake Geneva excursion, which required me to climb a fifty foot pole and push myself through a high ropes course that tested my balance, my upper body strength, and my emotional stamina.
But as difficult as that was, the fear and doubt and anxiety that I had to push myself through in order to make it to the zip line platform is nothing compared to what I will face over the next month and a half, as I attempt to complete the last four or five chapters that are needed in order to get my Master's thesis approved.
That's right folks. I met with my adviser on Thursday evening. We went over the manuscript as it stands, and she's really happy with how it has progressed. She even went so far to say that the relationship between my protagonist and her mother crackles, which I thought was super cool. And she was very specific in detailing that remaining scenes that she thinks are needed in order to push my page count up to 200, which is the number I need to hit to fulfill graduation requirements. Right now I'm at around 140, not counting the additional 30 pages of mess that follows the end of chapter ten.
I appreciated her enthusiasm and encouragement, and I left the meeting with a can-do attitude. But now I'm looking at my word document, utterly intimidated by the prospect of burning through sixty pages in 4-6 weeks. I can write at that pace no problem when I'm away from my life and that's all that I have to focus on. But squeezing it in on nights and weekends, after an increasingly hectic work life has sapped me of all vitality? That's the part that has me a little freaked out.
But I have to remember that I tend to be at my best when the pressure is on and a deadline has backed me against a wall. If I can just let myself go and not allow my perfectionist tendencies to take over I may be able to fly through this. I mean, I know what needs to happen in those missing scenes. It's just the how that I need to conquer. Maybe I should take a photo of my bruised shins and knees and post them somewhere highly visible, as a constant reminder of the things I can accomplish when I push myself....
Your current astral skies force you to undertake one of the hardest exercises of confidence there is.
Logic would dictate that this is a reference to last Sunday's Lake Geneva excursion, which required me to climb a fifty foot pole and push myself through a high ropes course that tested my balance, my upper body strength, and my emotional stamina.
But as difficult as that was, the fear and doubt and anxiety that I had to push myself through in order to make it to the zip line platform is nothing compared to what I will face over the next month and a half, as I attempt to complete the last four or five chapters that are needed in order to get my Master's thesis approved.
That's right folks. I met with my adviser on Thursday evening. We went over the manuscript as it stands, and she's really happy with how it has progressed. She even went so far to say that the relationship between my protagonist and her mother crackles, which I thought was super cool. And she was very specific in detailing that remaining scenes that she thinks are needed in order to push my page count up to 200, which is the number I need to hit to fulfill graduation requirements. Right now I'm at around 140, not counting the additional 30 pages of mess that follows the end of chapter ten.
I appreciated her enthusiasm and encouragement, and I left the meeting with a can-do attitude. But now I'm looking at my word document, utterly intimidated by the prospect of burning through sixty pages in 4-6 weeks. I can write at that pace no problem when I'm away from my life and that's all that I have to focus on. But squeezing it in on nights and weekends, after an increasingly hectic work life has sapped me of all vitality? That's the part that has me a little freaked out.
But I have to remember that I tend to be at my best when the pressure is on and a deadline has backed me against a wall. If I can just let myself go and not allow my perfectionist tendencies to take over I may be able to fly through this. I mean, I know what needs to happen in those missing scenes. It's just the how that I need to conquer. Maybe I should take a photo of my bruised shins and knees and post them somewhere highly visible, as a constant reminder of the things I can accomplish when I push myself....
