Flattery will get you everywhere...

[seabird78]

Except when it's being used to disguise (very poorly I might add) some sort of ridiculous scam.

Take, for instance, the message that was sitting in my MySpace inbox when I logged on this morning. It was from someone I've never had any contact with, but the subject line addressed me personally. Naturally I was curious, and so I checked it, only to see the following message:

Hello sweetie,
I am Levon demprey.42 years live in New York city..I must confess that after been captivated by your good look and astonishing beauty i was only grateful to God for this which i believe is a gift from him to you.I must say that you have been wonderfully created by God that is he has spent an extra time in creating you.
Sincerely speaking you possess a classic looks that could drive any man knot. I must say no right thinking man who has an intention of making a home would resist your kind of woman.Lets just say i know what my woman worth and i know how to take care of her to make her smile for me always.
As a result of the nature of my job i can adapt to any environment as meeting you someday would not be a problem for me.
I need someone who could love me without pains and show me love beyond the rain.I would be hoping to start up a relationship that could lead to a perfect and a blissful marriage with you. If you are the one then do not hesitate to break it up...What the ICE.......
Much love from a kind heart...( from a secret admirer.)
I hope to read a mail from you shortly

My initial reaction to this? A loud burst of laughter. I mean, seriously, what else could I do? I'm not saying it's impossible to have intense feelings for someone you've only seen in pictures, but seriously, making these sorts of proclamations, when my current profile pic is a distant shot of me and someone else?

Do I really look that fucking gullible?

It's not even so much the fawning compliments that set off my alarm bells. Those I might have even been able to accept graciously (although not without some skepticism) if it weren't for the implication that all I had to do was say the word and he would be packed and ready to relocate. And don't even get me started on the failed attempt at poetics...

What's really disturbing though, is that there's someone out there who seriously believes that these kind of tactics are going to be effective at extracting whatever sort of information they're hoping to get in their response messages. That all it takes to render a woman completely helpless are buckets of sappy, overblown sentiments.

What they fail to realize is that there's an art to making romantic proclamations. An art that requires a helluva lot of nuance. Anything less, and they're only succeeding at insulting our intelligence. I think that's what bugs me about this more than anything else.

It's fine and dandy to assume that I might be mushy because I'm a woman. (I'll even it admit that I am on occasion, hell, there's a huge romantic angle that's starting to develop in my novel). But to assume that I'm stupid? That's when the gloves come off and I put my fists up, small though they might be.

Comments

[claudine3000.livejournal.com]

So creepy. I've also gotten messages on OKcupid of men saying that I'm beautiful/gorgeous but them looking like my nightmare.

They assume you're so desperate for a man (and yet you're with someone for years) that you'll take any compliment and go out with them, thankful for the attention.

[seabird78.livejournal.com]

They assume you're so desperate for a man (and yet you're with someone for years) that you'll take any compliment and go out with them, thankful for the attention.

And the sad thing is, there are some girls who the above statement applies to. And some guys as well.

[troubl3maker.livejournal.com]

What's really disturbing though, is that there's someone out there who seriously believes that these kind of tactics are going to be effective at extracting whatever sort of information they're hoping to get in their response messages

I always have thoughts like that when people use cheesy pickup lines, weird tactics, ect. Does this work? It has to work for someone somewhere or no one would ever use it.

[seabird78.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and I want to observe the people who these things do work on, because I think that's the only way I'll be able to comprehend that they exist.

[snarkout-rat.livejournal.com]

I really think it's more that he's stupid than that he thinks you're stupid.

I also don't know if he's running a scam or if he's just a clueless, pathetic soul who heard you could "meet women on the Internet" and thinks this is how it's done, and has probably spammed a zillion women on Myspace with that message expecting some of them to respond. It's horrifying how many such people there are out there, but I wouldn't take it as anyone thinking you're gullible.

[seabird78.livejournal.com]

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<i.or if he's just a clueless, pathetic soul who heard you could "meet women on the Internet" and thinks this is how it's done, and has probably spammed a zillion women on Myspace with that message expecting some of them to respond.</i>

It saddens me to think that this could have been a real guy, but it is a possibility that crossed my mind as well. Where do these people come from, that's what I want to know.