Let's immerse ourself in some guilt
Okay, so as much as I recognize that my new gig is a great thing and a positive step and a much-deserved reward for my years of hard work, I'm starting to feel a twinge of guilt for pursuing it. Not enough that it would make me reconsider, mind you, but enough that I'm feeling a bit heelish for jumping ship on my current gig.
I know, I know, it's ridiculous. But I think it's due to a combination of an overdeveloped sense of responsibility/loyalty, and some troublesome self-esteem issues. The fucked-up voice in the back of my head is emerging, whispering, "Who do you think you are, thinking you're entitled to move up in the world? Why can't you just be grateful for what you've got already? Do you really think you're better than the job you've got? What are you gonna do when you're in over your head at the new place, wishing you were back to an environment where you could mail it in and still excel?"
Yep, this definitely smells like a bad case imposter's syndrome to me. And having a slight fear of transition doesn't help. But I'm hoping that by acknowledging it here and now, I'll have enough time to get it out of my system and recognize that I deserve this new job, and I'm gonna be great at it!
I know, I know, it's ridiculous. But I think it's due to a combination of an overdeveloped sense of responsibility/loyalty, and some troublesome self-esteem issues. The fucked-up voice in the back of my head is emerging, whispering, "Who do you think you are, thinking you're entitled to move up in the world? Why can't you just be grateful for what you've got already? Do you really think you're better than the job you've got? What are you gonna do when you're in over your head at the new place, wishing you were back to an environment where you could mail it in and still excel?"
Yep, this definitely smells like a bad case imposter's syndrome to me. And having a slight fear of transition doesn't help. But I'm hoping that by acknowledging it here and now, I'll have enough time to get it out of my system and recognize that I deserve this new job, and I'm gonna be great at it!