You're right, and thanks for calling me on my own bullshit, and not letting me feel sorry for myself. I guess my biggest problem is I don't know how to break out of that role, and my need to have people pay attention to me or express interest in who I am runs in conflict with the anxiety/discomfort I experience when subjected to scrutiny.
And yeah, I can agree that being around strangers at a party is easier than hanging out with people you only know a little, because at least then if no one makes an effort to interact with you it's understandable, and all those questions you mentioned never come up. But I decided to subject myself to this anyway, mostly out of irresistible curiousity, and because my wallflower status might allow me to approach this as an observer of sociology.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 04:56 pm (UTC)And yeah, I can agree that being around strangers at a party is easier than hanging out with people you only know a little, because at least then if no one makes an effort to interact with you it's understandable, and all those questions you mentioned never come up. But I decided to subject myself to this anyway, mostly out of irresistible curiousity, and because my wallflower status might allow me to approach this as an observer of sociology.