Confession

[seabird78]

I'm having second thoughts about going to my 10-year high school reunion this Saturday. I've already paid for my ticket, so I'll go no matter what, but suddenly the prospect of being surrounded a bunch of people who couldn't have cared less about my existence when I was 17 (save for a small handful) and who will probably not remember me now is not that appealing.

Maybe I should just accept my inevitable role as a wallflower, and realize that it's unrealistic to expect people to notice me when I give them no real reason to do so.

Comments

[snarkout-rat.livejournal.com]

I went to my 10-year after being strongarmed into it by a friend, and I had all the same fears that you mentioned, but it turned out a lot better than I anticipated. People were much more interested in finding out about my life than I ever imagined they would be, since I too was a wallflower in high school. And at one point it occurred to me, while I was standing with a few of my old classmates talking, that this was just like being at a cocktail party with nice people, not like high school all over again, and the strides I'd made socially in the 10 years since then really made a difference.

Despite all that, my 15th was last weekend, and I didn't go. I just didn't feel enthusiastic enough about seeing those people again to want to spend time with them.

After the 10th, my friend (the one who dragged me to it) and I talked on the phone about how weird it had been to go to the reunion and then go back to our current lives, the plans we have with current people. We also laughed about how our conversation, our dissection of everyone, was exactly the same conversation as the one we had the day after senior prom.

[seabird78.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping it'll be better than I anticipate. As it turns out a girl who I really did like in high school, and who I have seen since, will be going, and she and I have been in touch about sticking together at this thing.

I've decided to simply keep my expectations low, and remember that I can always leave whenever I've had enough. At this point, I'm so damn curious about what happens at these things that I think I'll be regretful if I don't at least investigate. And I've talked to my editor at NewCity, and he agreed to consider publishing an essay about the experience (in the same vein as my pole dancer piece) should it be interesting enough to write about at length. So if nothing else, I may be able to make enough cash to cover the cost of my ticket....